There, Not Here In-sight

for feeling like you belong

 

The Story

When I was a child, I somehow lucked out and got the only bedroom in the house with a view of Puget Sound. Yeah, I know. It sounds like I had it rough. But, remember, it is all relative. We all have our shades of rough and hard. I had whatever I had so that I could bring it to you now.  

So, there I was, a young girl, then a young woman, who looked like she belonged but never did. I stuck out, in my family, at school, everywhere. I felt like an oddity, born in the wrong time, wrong place, wrong everything. One of my weird ways of dealing with this was watching one of my favorite movies at the time, Last of the Mohicans, on repeat, often in the early pre-dawn before school, then sitting with a cup of tea on a heat register on the living room floor while gazing out across the water and beyond at the Olympic Mountains.

It was in these moments, as the world had barely begun to get light, or sometimes at sunset, gazing through from my bedroom window, that I would imagine myself “there, not here.” My thought was, "well if I don't belong here, I must belong there" (“there” being the mountains, the world of Last of the Mohicans, or somewhere else entirely).

My way of coping with this as an adult has been to write a series of young adult novels with the same premise - belonging - with my main protagonist, Leila, going through the same struggles I did as a youth and finding her true place as a result. Which brings me to this...in our times of darkness, low-ness, seeming brokenness, we quite often find ourselves feeling lost, alone, and void of thoughts or visions of the good buried underneath the darkness. Use this: You always belong somewhere, even if you can't see it. You belong THERE, not here. And you will get there. Just ask Leila.

The In-sight

Wherever you are right now, if it is feeling wrong, you will find your place. It is just there, not here.

Just picture it. Look out of your window. See the mountains, literally, or in your mind’s eye. See the Olympics, over Puget Sound, far off in the distance, but just within reach. Watch a movie. Fall inside. See the other world you could belong to. The point is, there is always a place for you. And you will find it. It is just not here, it’s there. There, not here. And we will get there.

Variations, Tips, and Possibilities