Why Friends Are a Good Thing

Up until recently, I have been at odds with this notion called friends. Sure, I have had friends throughout my life, but I have had more sporadic, intermittent relationships as an adult, depending on where I've been, both in my life and my location. I see the benefit and perhaps even wish I had more (definitely); but there are only a few people I perceive as my lifelong friends, and even those have been a bit unpredictable.

Consequently, as a defense mechanism, I have placed a much lower value on friendship. My thought has been that if I could learn how to adeptly tackle life without friends, I would be much better off because I wouldn't have to rely on anyone. I would have less distraction, less judgment, less reliance, be less vulnerable, and would come out stronger as a result. Right?

But this theory has backfired. What I have belatedly realized is that, in my second marriage, I had allowed myself to become dependent upon my significant other as pretty much my only friend, rendering myself helpless in the ally category when things took a nose dive. With no one else to rally when the going got rough, I became even more alone. I had unwittingly isolated myself for so long, that I had no idea how to bring anyone back into the fold, even my few lifelong friends, especially without opening the emotional floodgates, something I was not ready to do. The bottom line was that I was alone, and the un-admitted reason: I was afraid, both to rekindle my old friendships and to make new ones. So, I tucked chin and hardened, determined to be "just fine" all on my own.

But the universe called me out on it and had better ideas.

Despite my resistance, two things came along to prove my okay-alone-theory wrong...first, I unexpectedly made a new friend who became my rock in spite of her own health issues. Then, one of my longer-lasting friendships was brought back into focus with health hurdles requiring that I push my own problems aside, although this friend demonstrated unbelievable kindness and compassion for my ongoing challenges in spite of her own.

I have since made a few new friends, as well, each amidst its own unique set of circumstances in tumultuous settings. And although some of these new friendships have already drifted away, I now value, much more, the ins and out of friends in my life, even as a self-proclaimed loner. Therefore, the following list is devoted to the valuable lessons that good friends teach us all. It is authored by me, but I am merely the conduit. They are the teachers.

Here are the lessons true friends can teach us:

1) Trust again, even when trust is lost.

2) Trials and challenges are all relative; and love can be found through all.

3) Don't give up on being you; believe in yourself.

4) Someone is always there, even when you feel alone.

5) You can be different, and still love each other greatly.

6) I am amazing and special (say this out loud, as often as you can muster).

7) Lifelong friends can be made in short bits of time and unlikely places.

8) Life tosses you stuff, but good friends help you get through just by being.

9) Everything happens for a reason.

10) I am valuable to someone (yes, you are).

11) Hang in there; even through the worst, there is light.

12) You deserve ALL you deserve, especially in love.

13) BE THERE when it matters, as they will be for me (and you).

For a free downloadable PDF Isolationist’s Epiphany SheetSheet, go HERE.