Happiness is Not a Numbers Game

I refuse to believe that we only get a finite number of happinesses in our life.

Some people, many people, in fact, would say that you must pick and choose.

You have a happy married life? Then you should expect to have an exhausting job.

You have toys and things that you want? Then expect a grind.

You have happiness and fulfillment in a job? Then, be happy with your adversarial or indifferent relationship.

All those dreams you wanted as a child? You're grown up now. Face reality. You don’t get to achieve all those things.

Yes, in many ways, life is a give and take. It can be a matter of compromising. For example, I always wanted to be a famous singer. I wanted my name in lights, on billboards, on tv. I wanted my albums to reach skyrocketing success, to fill stadiums, and make a difference in countless lives with my songs.

But, I now see, in order to have done that, or, even now, to pursue or do that, I would need to sacrifice the time that I would want to be having with my loved ones who are in my life now, namely my horses and my dog. Because of the way that my life has evolved, my desires have evolved too, as happens for all of us, especially in regard to what makes us happy.

This weighing of happiness is only for your measure, not society or someone else’s gauge. And there is no limit placed on how much happiness you are allowed to have. If there were a way to give my horses the devoted time they need AND tour the country as a rockstar, then, maybe I would still be all in.

The point here is that there is not a set code of this or that in life-fulfillment without your choice involved (or, of course, physical limitation; for example, I cannot be out on tour AND at my horses’ barn at the same time).

But when it comes to the various categories of life, it is up to you - and only you - to decide where you may want to compromise. The challenge is that we all already think we have to. We are taught to. If we’re happy here, we should settle there. Absolutely not true.

Contrary to what we are conditioned to believe, life is not meant to be suffered. Trial and challenge give us the opportunity to learn and grow; but, they are not the point, nor are the intended outcome and destination.

Human life - existence - is meant for kindness and expansion in goodness and in joy. You can settle if you want to. But please don’t do it for thinking that that is all you deserve; because, in truth, we all deserve all. That is why we are here (to live life to the fullest).